24February

I am in a muddle

Everything is set up to pull you off centre

shutterstock 311420549Quite often it feels very much life life pulls me in all kinds of directions, that's ok, that's what it does. I long ago stopped pretending I could have any kind of control or stop any or this, it' like trying to turn the tide or something ruder, involving the wind and weeing, but that's for another blog.

It happens to us all, we're super people, all of us. Juggling, multitasking, dropping, picking up again, getting to the end of the day and wondering what just happened. Then getting up in the morning and doing it all over again.

I don't think it's this process that unsettles much, it's the fact that I feel lost. Like if there was a massive pause button in the sky I'd want to leap up and hit it, just for a moment while I caught my breath and rein everything in again. Then I know this feeling doesn't last forever, that some day, the busy-ness will be gone and there will be grief for this time.

But then, what is regret. To me it's not fully embracing what is when it is. When I do that, when I know that life is temporary, that all things pass I stand out of the way. I know that everything changes, everything moves and that, in the end is all that is certain.
When I stand out of my own way, I know that everything is still waiting for me. That sense of peace which comes from a job well done or a day well spent. To know that all is well, that there is a still point which is always still and sitting, waiting patiently for me when I return. Those moments where I remember that, in many ways is the moment when I recharge and realise nothing is missing when you are present.

Posted in 2016

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